Rudderlessly Navigating a Bad Situation

It's been an interesting week. I received an email and a phone call that I can safely say that most people will never receive in their lives. The matter is personal, so I'm not going to go into details about it. Suffice it to say that there are times when people can let their strong emotions override their natural sense of caution, and the results can be painful, even if there was no intention to cause any hurt.

The worst part of this situation is that I can't do anything to change the situation in the present. I am adrift on the ocean with a broken rudder and no radio, though I have a few empty bottles and some scraps of paper. All I can do is wait to see where the currents will take me, periodically toss some bottled messages into the sea, and hope that I reach my uncertain destination without encountering too many more squalls.

For what it's worth, I don't regret getting on the boat, and I am not afraid of the unwritten future. I do wish that I hadn't hurt anyone along the way. Lesson learned.

Update:

What I find most frustrating about this predicament is that I can't disclose any of the details about it unless I disclose all of them. The story only makes sense when read in its entirety, particularly with regard to the chronology of events. And I'm not willing to openly write about any of it yet, because it's not right for me to make that call on my own.

So, for now, and for the indeterminate future, I am stuck in the Snidely Whiplash role. I can deal with that; I know it's not true, and I'd rather appear to be the villain than disclose anything without consent from someone about whom I care deeply.

Update 2:

I've been thinking about the event that provoked this post. I'm now having an internal debate about whether or not empathizing with someone who is feeling hurt about a situation where this person's behavior is a major causative factor, enables them to escape any acceptance of responsibility for their actions. I'm a decent person, flaws and all, and my natural response is to apologize for any perceived role I play in another person's emotional pain. Yet, I find myself wondering if that was the right thing to do. When in doubt, I prefer to err on the side of empathy, but in this case, I am not sure if it was the best thing to do.

Said another way, some of my recent actions, despite not being directed in any way at the person in question, could be legitimately viewed as callous and hurtful to them. However, that person bears most of the responsibility for being in a position where my actions would have any reason to exist. For example: What if I were to see someone holding a cup of hot coffee while excitedly gesticulating their hands and arms in a crowded room? If I then observed that they were about to carelessly spill their coffee on a person next to them, and I were to abruptly pull the potential victim out of the way, I could end up hurting the coffee drinker. I would be sorry about causing them pain, but that would not give them an excuse for putting the person next to them at risk for being burned. If they had been more careful and aware of their actions while holding that cup of coffee, I wouldn't have gotten involved.

I know this sounds like I am trying to avoid owning up to my role in the mess that led to my writing this post, but I assure you that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm seriously pondering whether or not there are some things where an apology is unwarranted, or even harmful. That statement feels inherently wrong to me, but it seems to have some validity in certain situations. Hence, my internal debate.